Last week it was an interesting week for me because I got a chance to understand how fucked up people can get in their minds. I was watching TV with my mom one morning (something I usually don't do because I don't like television shows targeted towards lower class conservative Hispanic housewives) and i saw Mexican singer Paquita la del Barrio talking about her opinion about the allowance of gay marriage and adoption rights in Mexico City. Paquita la del Barrio is a lady that sings "rancheras" which is kind of like folk music in Mexico. Her lyrics talk about misandry and she has become famous by her phrase "¿Me estás oyendo, inútil?" which roughly translates into: "Are you listening, worthless scumbag?" obviously talking to men. She is usually associated with feminism as her lyrics usually empower women, but last I checked feminism was about gender equality and not about hate towards men.
Anyway, what has made a lot of controversy about what she said and you can read about here, is the fact that she declared that, in addition to disagreeing with gay marriage, she said that she would rather see a child die of hunger in the streets than seeing a child be adopted to a gay couple. She went on to say that she would even prefer to see her own child dead! Now, I really think that she is exclusively thinking about gay men and not lesbian couples. There has been a lot of debates on national shows in Mexico and here in the US about her statements, some regarding her opinion as respectable and others as totally unacceptable. Later Univision made an interesting poll that asked if you agreed or disagreed with Paquita la del Barrio's ideas. About 80% voted agreed while the rest disagreed, which are expected results based on the audience demographics.
What do I believe? I am a trans lesbian woman, Hispanic, and raised catholic by my family , so I am super queer and biased but let me explain what her statements entail to my community affiliations. Her opinion is very understandable and respectable to a point, I am not going to deny that conservative people have a right to disagree with gay couple child adoptions, but when does wishing death to a orphan child is a right under any circumstances!? Her statement became a hateful remark with hints of homophobia, misandry and most importantly misopedia.
Now, I don't mind an old woman with questionable moral logic to inflict hate on national television (never mind, I actually do), but I got so mad when my mom clapped her hands loudly and yelled "I agree with you Paquita". I then engaged with a heated argument with my mom in response to her reaction. My mom got to the point where she couldn't explain rationally or logically why she agrees, started talking about her own childhood and how she was exposed to sexual harassment as a girl and even cried for the fate of orphan kids when she said "How would I feel if I was an orphan girl picked up by two putos (fags)?"
Lots of things were going in my mind, from the sadness to hear my own mother being so blinded by her fears and the fact that I haven't come out to her. I related with her though, that her fear to understand and accept social realities is the same fear that i have to not come out to her in the first place. She explained that the kids would be bullied at school for having two fathers (she always used a gay male couple as examples) and I explained to her that the problem is not the gay couple family but the bullying and social diseases based on fabricated moralities. I believe Catholicism is to blame here. In Mexico, the catholic church sends mixed teachings of loving each other while at the same time hating everybody else that is not catholic and heteronormative.
I went on to tell my mom that perhaps a gay orphan kid might find a perfect home in a queer family and this was the only time my mom agreed but then she applied a rule that the kid has to be old enough to understand this. What is this age she is talking about? She says 15, which only gives 3 years before reaching legal adulthood in Mexico. Oh well at least there was a compromise in her attitudes but not in her beliefs.
I feel terrible though, makes me think that my mom is never going to accept my reality, which is sad, but then ever since I came out to myself I thought of the idea of losing my family as very plausible since the beginning, hence the reason of me being in the closet at the moment. It sucks but oh well, it's how it is.
Yumi's Perplex Mind
- Gay adoption in Mexico City debate at home